This should be illegal...
This should be illegal...
Is 'mom guilt' stopping you from enjoying life to its fullest - or from chasing your dreams in the first place? Don't let it.
“This should seriously be illegal,” I thought to myself as I dove into the calm, clear water, collecting sand dollars and watching the zebra fish whiz by - just an hour after dropping off our kids at their first day of school.
Like many of you, ‘mom guilt’ has been deeply enmeshed in my psyche, impacting my daily decisions more than I probably realize. It felt almost like I shouldn’t be doing something this fun all by myself, especially something that’s not ‘productive’. But my rational side fought back. This has been my dream for as long as I can remember, and it’s finally coming true. The dishes can wait.
Anyway, hi! I realize it’s been a while. The beauty of entrepreneurship is the ability to take a step back during pivotal life moments and fully focus on family. The past few months has definitely been one of those times. After talking about it for years, we took a leap of faith and moved to Florida! Near family, and yes, very close to the beach.
I’m sharing this as a life update, but more importantly to encourage any of you with a similar dream of moving somewhere new, or changing your life in a major way, to thoughtfully and prayerfully GO FOR IT! Without letting mom guilt - or irrational guilt of any other kind - get in the way.
Here are some tips that helped me :
1 - Have a clear vision. You must have a vision of where you’d like to be (in 6 months, 1 year, and/or 5 years)…because how else can you reach a destination if it’s unclear what that destination actually is? It’s scary at first, but ultimately, if it’s truly your dream life, it should be fun and exciting to think about!
2 - Be humble and outwardly focused. This may ruffle some feathers, but it’s important to remember that none of us *deserves* anything. Pursuing what we feel entitled to (even if it’s through our own hard work) will only set us up to work toward our goals with a self-centered mindset, leading to resentment if we don’t get what we want. Every day and everything we have are gifts from God. If we lead our lives humbly, gratefully, and focused on helping others more than fulfilling our own desires, achieving our dreams will, perhaps counterintuitively, be more within reach than ever before.
3 - Ditch the mom guilt. Since we’re natural role models for our kids, we are modeling self-care by pursuing what we love. Which also makes us happier. And ‘happy wife, happy life’ definitely applies to families as well. There can also be the unexpected bonus of sharing newly discovered passions with our kids (e.g. snorkeling for sand dollars).
Just for fun - here are all the sand dollars I found while snorkeling on the kids’ first day of school. The big one is just an inch shy of the world record! And yes, every time their little hands pick it up, I’m terrified they’ll drop it. 😂
4 - Get outside! Even if it’s just for a few minutes. Immersing ourselves in nature always seems to put everything in perspective. And physical activity can be so empowering.
In my efforts to feel less guilty about beach time while the kids are at school, I enjoyed some weekday morning mind, body and soul nourishment on Honeymoon Island in Dunedin, FL. Spotting a reddish egret bird (the rarest egret in the US!) was a bonus. It’s safe to say there was at least one very happy parent in the carpool line!
Some resources:
Manifest: 7 Steps to Living Your Best Life by Roxie Nafousi
I am normally not a self-help book person, but this one is an inspiring, quick read. It’ll help you create a solid vision for your future, then details how to overcome all the road blocks you’re likely to face.
New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp
This book is filled with daily inspiration to live your life thoughtfully, prayerfully, and focused on the big picture. It’s uncanny how many days’ devotions are so spot-on with what I’m going through at that moment.